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This article is a scripted version of the Teen Titans episode Every Dog Has His Day. This is episode 2 of the second season in the series, which aired on the 17th January 2004.

Script

[The episode begins with a shot of the moon. A spaceship flies past and starts flying above the ocean, causing a wave to wipe out cars on a nearby bridge. The ship flies over an alley full of wild dogs, that start barking on sight. The ship finally crashes on a nearby hill. Out of the smouldering rubble jumps a green dog, similar in appearance to Beast Boy's dog impression.]

[Opening Title]

[[[Titans Tower]] the next morning - Cyborg is busy working on the T-car's engine. He uses a burner implanted into his finger to weld together engine parts. Beast Boy (in lizard form) crawls up a nearby wall and across the ceiling until he is directly above Cyborg. He jumps down on to Cyborg's arm, much to Cyborg's surprise, and both of them end up falling away to opposite sides of the room. "Gag scene," - Cyborg turns red from anger and shouts;]

Cyborg: Beast Boy!

Beast Boy: [Laughs weakly.] Guess I should've knocked first. So, what's up, Cyborg? Working on your car? Bet you could use a few extra hands. [Beast Boy proceeds to transform into an octopus.]

Cyborg: Nah, I can handle it. Besides, some of these tools are kinda...

Beast Boy: [Picks up a burner from the ground.] Ooh, what's this do?

[Cyborg immediately drops everything and waving his hands in effort to stop Beast Boy, but is too late, as Beast Boy activates the dangerous article, burning a portion of the car's paint. Steam comes from Cyborg's nose (anger gag).]

Beast Boy: Oops.

Cyborg: Maybe you should go help somebody else.

[Beast Boy dashes off-screen. Below Titans Tower, Robin is seen training himself using a mechanical battle simulation, using all sorts of martial arts to destroy his targets. Beast Boy suddenly walks in front of one of the targets.]

Beast Boy: Hey, Robin.

[Of course, being in the way meant that he was jump-kicked by Robin, and sent into the air before finally landing on the ground a few metres away. Robin rushes to his aid.]

Beast Boy: Need a workout, buddy?

Robin: Sorry, Beast Boy, but this is really more of a solo thing. You okay?

Beast Boy: Awesome.

[Beast Boy walks away slowly, holding his head down in disappointment.]

Raven: Azarath metrion zinthos.

[Inside Raven's room, herself and Starfire are busy meditating against a glass sphere.]

Starfire: Tell me, Raven. Does it always take so long to contact the spirit world?

Raven: Not always, Starfire. But it does require intense focus. Absolute quiet.

[Beast Boy suddenly appears inside the glass sphere.]

Beast Boy: Dudes!

[Raven and Starfire both scream in shock.]

Beast Boy: Check it out. [He holds up a box labelled, "Hong's Tofu."] If I can eat twenty-nine pounds of tofu in under an hour, I'll set a new world record. Want to be my official witnesses?

Starfire: Um...

Raven: No.

[Beast Boy is now near the entrance to Titans Tower.]

Beast Boy: Okay, if nobody needs me, I'm heading downtown. Crazy party in the big city! Anybody want to come with? [The room turns out to be empty.] Yes? No? [Echoing:] Anybody?

[Beast Boy leaves the building, with his head down in disappointment again. Outside in the city, Beast Boy is still upset about being ignored, holding his communicator device in his hands desperate for action.]

Beast Boy: Crazy party. There's gotta be somebody who wants to hang out with me. [Beast Boy hears two girls laughing in the background. He sees them eating pizza at a nearby restaurant.] Please let them be somebody. [He walks up to them.] Hello, ladies. Wanna go for a spin on my moped?

Woman #1: You own a moped?

Beast Boy: No, but I'm saving up.

[He digs his hand into their pizza, them slips over and knocks their water jug onto his head. The two girls laugh and walk away. Beast Boy pulls the jug off of his head and looks to see the two of them in a park, petting a brown dog.]

Beast Boy: Lucky dogs. Sure wish I was... [Idea bulb appears.] Hey, duh! [Turns into a dog and runs over to the others, barking.]

Woman #1: Um, why is that dog green?

Woman #2: Ew, and it smells like old pizza.

Woman #1: Shoo, dog, go away, go.

[Beast Boy walks away in sadness. In a nearby alley, the alien dog jumps out of a bin, chewing on an old boot. It barks as it sees the alien ship he came from hovering overhead. A levitation beam comes from underneath the ship, and the dog starts running away from it. The chase continues, traversing more alleys, a creek and more alleys still.]

[At Titans Tower, Robin is on the computer, looking at a "City Sector 5" alert. Cyborg, Raven and Starfire arrive on-screen.]

Robin: Trouble.

Starfire: Where is Beast Boy?

Robin: No time to find out. Titans, go!

[Beast Boy is in an area of the park much denser in trees. He looks to his left to see the alien dog still running away from the spaceship above. They collide with each other and fall over. The spaceship arrives, and the alien dog flees, causing Beast Boy to be levitated into the ship, leaving behind his communicator device.]

[Beast Boy (still in dog form) wakes up inside the ship.]

Soto: Bad dog. You should not try to escape.

[[[Soto|Soto's]] shadow rolls over Beast Boy. He returns to human form.]

Beast Boy: Um... you sure you got the right dog?

[Back in the park where Beast Boy was originally abducted, the other Titans are examining the damage.]

Raven: Whatever it was, it was some kind of flying saucer.

Cyborg: Whatever it was, my sensors can't track it. It didn't leave any kind of trail.

Robin: But it did leave this. Something got zapped, but the question is, what?

Starfire: [Gasps and picks up Beast Boy's dropped communicator.] Beast Boy!

Cyborg: [Takes the communicator from Starfire and smells it.] It's BB's all right. It smells like tofu.

Starfire: Oh, I fear out friend has, "gotten the zap."

[Out of nowhere, the real alien dog that Soto left behind jumps on Raven and starts licking her.]

Raven: He looks fine to me.

Starfire: Beast Boy! You are unharmed!

Cyborg: Where you been?

Robin: Did you get a look at the UFO?

[The dog jumps back onto Raven, pushing her over again.]

Raven: Don't make me send you to another dimension.

Robin: Alright, Beast Boy, quit fooling around. We've got work to do. Beast Boy!

[The dog is chasing its tail in circles.]

Starfire: Friend, why will you not resume human form and speak with us?

Cyborg: Maybe he can't. Maybe something's wrong with him. [Cyborg presses a button on his arm to scan the dog.] That's strange.

[A nearby red car turns a corner, attracting the attention of the dog. Like any other, the dog starts chasing after the car.]

Cyborg: Yep, definitely something wrong with him.

[Across town, the dog is still running away, with the other Titans not far behind.]

Robin: Where did he go?

Raven: And what did he do to that car?

[The car from before had been stopped nearby some other people. The back bumper had been ripped off, and the back-left tyre was crooked. The driver is sitting on the ground, crying over the damages.]

Robin: Split up and search. Start with Beast Boy's usual hangouts and fan out from there.

[The Titans run off in different directions. A montage begins...]

[Robin is seen talking to the two women from earlier in the episode, when the dog arrives and starts chewing on Robin's cape. Robin starts chasing the dog.]

[Raven is seen walking underneath a bridge, when the dog jumps on her and starts licking her face again.]

[Cyborg is still in town, when the dog "mistakes him for a fire hydrant."]

[In the park, the dog is seen running across a path, with one of Starfire's boots in its mouth. Starfire isn't far behind, hopping after Beast Boy using her clothed leg.]

[Robin finds the dog again, and starts chasing it, both of them hopping over the top of office buildings. Robin thinks that the dog had dropped into an alleyway and disappeared, but it was just hiding underneath the roof.]

[Raven is seen walking nearby a burger shop. Just like five times before, the dog leaps onto Raven and rapidly licks her face.]

[Starfire finds her missing boot in the middle of the park, wet and chewed on. Despite showing obvious disgust, she puts it back on her leg.]

[In a change of events, the dog ends up chasing Cyborg, but then leaves and leaps on to Raven once again. It then proceeds to tun into an alley, followed by Cyborg and Robin, with Raven and Starfire landing shortly afterwards.]

Robin: Careful, everybody. We don't want to hurt him.

Raven: Speak for yourself.

Starfire: [Holding her nose:] Ugh, what is that smell?

Cyborg: Dog-boy here confused me with a fire hydrant.

[The dog jumps out of a trash can. All the Titans put their hands up and proceed slowly towards the creature.]

Robin: Easy. Beast Boy.

Cyborg: We just want to help.

[In reply, the dog upchucks the bumper it had stolen before.]

Teen Titans: Ew!

[The dog unleashes its extremely long tongue, and uses it to lick Raven's face from the trash can. It then runs away, and deforms itself to fit into a sewer.]

Cyborg: Um... Okay?

Raven: I'm going to go out on a limb here and say, that isn't Beast Boy.

Robin: And if that's not Beast Boy...

Starfire: Then where could he be?

[Back on the spaceship, which hasn't taken off yet...]

Beast Boy: Dude, for the last time... [He struggles to remove his collar.] I am not your dog!

[Soto seems to be easily impressed by his struggling.]

Soto: You are funny. Soto likes you.

Beast Boy: Okay, I didn't want to do this, but...

[Transforms into a tiger and roars. He tries to jump on Soto, but his collar and leash pull him backwards. He continues trying, but to no avail. He then turns into a flamingo, much to Soto's enjoyment. He continues to transform into animals, including an alligator, kangaroo, monkey, hippo, fish and pterodactyl.]

Soto: [Laughing] You are not Soto's dog, you are better than Soto's dog!

[He proceeds to hug Beast Boy, who transforms back into a human. Soto drops Beast Boy onto a pillow, and hands him a bowl filled with "space goodies."]

Beast Boy: Um, thanks...

Soto: You can change into any pet? Any pet Soto asks?!

Beast Boy: Well, I don't like to brag, but...

Soto: Change!

Beast Boy: If I do, will you let me go?

Soto: [Nodding vertically:] Mm-hm, Mm-hm.

[Beast Boy proceeds to transform into a Giraffe, heavily exciting Soto.]

Soto: Change!!

Beast Boy: [Points at collar.] Um, aren't we forgetting something?

[Anger can be seen on Soto's face.]

Soto: Bad dog! Soto said change!

Beast Boy: And Beast Boy said...!

[Soto flicks a switch on his remote control, electrically shocking Beast Boy until he eventually changed into a bird.]

Beast Boy: Happy now?!

Soto: Change! [Continues to shock Beast Boy, who changes into a goat.] Change! [Beast Boy continues to change into animals, heavily encouraging Soto's inner happiness.] You're the best dog ever! And now you are Soto's new dog!

Beast Boy: [Changes back into human form.] Say what?! [Gets shocked.] Dude, I am nobody's pet!

Soto: [Almost-crying:] You don't like Soto's ship? You do not like Soto?

Beast Boy: Um...

Soto: Good dog. Now we go home. [Walks off.]

Beast Boy: Home?

Soto: [Pressing buttons on control panels.] Soto's planet on far side of galaxy.

[Underground, inside an abandoned sewer, Robin, Starfire and Raven turn towards the camera to see the dog still running from them. They chase the dog into a passageway, where Cyborg jumps out and catches it. It morphs into a jelly-like substance to escape Cyborg's hands, and continues to run off.]

Cyborg: Remind me again why we're chasing this thing.

Starfire: The creature is not of this Earth.

Raven: And neither is a UFO.

Robin: The alien ship must have come here looking for the green dog...

Starfire: ...and captured our green friend instead.

Raven: So, if we ever want to find Beast Boy...

Robin: ...we have to catch that dog. We need a plan.

Cyborg: Or, maybe we just need some bait. [Everyone proceeds to stare at Raven.]

Raven: What?

[Above the surface, the dig is sniffing at a tree. It turns around to see Raven.]

Raven: [Clears throat and sighs.] Here, doggy. Here, doggy, doggy.

[The dog's eyes become love-hearts for a second, before it proceeds to run towards Raven. Starfire suddenly enters the scene and places a plastic ball in front of the dog, which proceeds to run inside the ball. Robin jumps above the makeshift prison and closes the lid. The dog growls and attempts to morph its way out.]

Cyborg: Sorry Fido, but when Cyborg builds it, nobody breaks it.

Raven: So, now that we've got him...

Robin: We just have to figure out how he can lead us to the spaceship. I can run a chemical analysis on his fur, see where he's been.

Cyborg: I could do a molecular scan. Maybe he and the ship had the same isotopic signature.

Starfire: [To Raven:] Perhaps you could use your magic to communicate with the creature.

Raven: I'm still getting drool off my face. I don't want him anywhere near my brain.

Alien Dog: Um, pardon me... [Everyone is shocked by this sudden response.] ...but I believe that we may be able to help one another.

Robin: Okay... am I the only one who heard that?

Cyborg: You talk? Dogs don't talk!

Alien Dog: Perhaps not on your planet, my dear fellow. Now, if you'll agree to release me, I will be happy to help you locate my odious master. After I escaped his ship, he pursued me here and mistakenly captured another green dog, your "Beast Boy" I presume?

Raven: And you didn't tell us this earlier because?

Alien Dog: I was having too much fun. [Smiles.]

[On the spaceship, Soto is pressing buttons (and watching a short pixel clip) in effort to launch.]

Soto: Engines ready. Hang on, new dog. Time to go home.

[Beast Boy is seen struggling to remove his collar in the background.]

Beast Boy: I am home! Now let me go!

[The ship's engines start, triggering four fire-powered turbines underneath the hull. The ship begins to levitate, and Beast Boy tries just as hard to remove his leash.]

Soto: [To Earth.] Bye-bye.

Beast Boy: [Expels a sad sigh.] See ya.

[The ship suddenly jerks, and is pulled downwards. Soto is obviously confused, watching as his arcade-style screen showed their inevitable doom.]

Soto: No! Soto want up, not down!

[Starfire is shown to be pushing the ship from above. Soto continues pressing buttons in his control panel, increasing the engine power and rendering Starfire alone useless. However, Raven grabs the ship using her magic, and Robin uses a grappling hook, all three of them further pulling the ship towards the ground.]

Robin: Hang on, Beast Boy. We're going to get you out.

Raven: Azarath metrion zinthos!

[Raven's magic forces the door on the ship open, and Robin runs towards it. Soto jumps out and lands on the ground with a thud.]

Soto: New dog belongs to Soto! You go now!

Robin: I'm think you're the one who's got to go. [Soto jumps into the air.] Titans, move!

[Robin was a little late, as Soto's 'ground slam' pushed everybody backwards. Cyborg, Raven and Starfire landed in separate trees, and Robin slid across the ground, obviously prepared. Out of the smoke comes Soto, who continues trying to beat up Robin. Robin leaps into the air and starts throwing explosive discs at him, temporarily blinding him. Robin performs several back-flips, giving Cyborg and Starfire space to join in. Cyborg attacks using hus sonic blaster and Starfire uses her energy bolts, but both are deflected by Soto's rock. Soto charges at them, literally knocking them over like bowling pins (played on further with the word 'strike' appearing on-screen). Away from the action, Raven attempts to board the spaceship, but Soto notices and approaches her.]

Soto: My dog!

[Raven uses her magic to uproot a tree and use it to attack Soto. Unfortunately, his strength allowed him to grip the tree and detach Raven's magic. Cyborg pushes her out of the way as the tree hurtles towards her.]

Cyborg: Why didn't you just hand him a laser cannon?!

[Soto continues trying to fend everybody off using the tree. Starfire flies on-screen, holding Robin underneath her. Robin throws two bird-arangs at the tree, leaving Soto with a stump to defend himself. In a "gag scene" style, Soto begins crying like a baby. Robin and Cyborg initiate their attacks, but Soto defends using his stump. Ravens magic, however, takes the tree from Soto and Starfire throws energy at him. He starts rapidly throwing mud at them, to which the two girls retreat. Robin sneaks up from behind and kicks Soto in the arm, and then in his stomach. Soto attempts to grab him, but he evades, back-flipping away from Soto. Soto claps his hands together, creating a sound that broke gravity, pushing Robin backwards. Cyborg attempts to punch Soto, but ends up getting his hand caught in Soto's, who throws Cyborg over his head twice. Starfire throws energy bolts at him again, but they are deflected by his arm. He throws Cyborg at Starfire, and the two of them hit the ground hard.]

Robin: We've hit him with everything, but it's still not enough. We need more. We need...

[Elephant trumpets. Beast Boy in elephant form throws Soto into the air from behind.]

Beast Boy: You rang?

Soto: Bad dog! Soto will punish! [Soto pulls out his remote and starts pressing the button. Nothing happens, as Beast Boy is no longer wearing the leash. Beast Boy transforms into a Tyrannosaurus Rex, and breathes and roars in Soto's face. He uses his tail to throw Soto into the air again, transforms into a pterodactyl to fly up to Soto's height, and the a kangaroo to slam Soto downwards again. The rest of the team join in, with Robin kicking him into a spin, Cyborg punching him upwards, and Raven and Starfire using their powers to push Soto into the ground. Inside a crater, Soto's lips start quivering as the Titans stare at him. The alien dog's tongue picks up the collar and puts it on Soto's neck.]

Alien Dog: Sit. Stay.

[Soto climbs up and out of the crater, sitting in front of his dog.]

Soto: Doggy! You came back!

Alien Dog: On the contrary, I am only here to collect my squeaky-toys. I refuse to be your pet any longer.

[Soto's eyes start welling with tears, but they disappear as he gasps with a new idea.]

Soto: Okay. Soto will be the doggy now, and you will be the master. [Rolls over and bounces on all fours, barking and licking the alien dog in the process.]

Alien Dog: Stop, that tickles!

[The Titans watch as all this happens.]

Beast Boy: Okay, weird.

Raven: Better him than me.

Soto: [Barking.]

Alien Dog: [Whistes.] Come along, Soto. Time to go home.

[Soto, still impersonating a god, runs inside the ship. The door closes and the ship finally takes off.]

Robin: All right, Beast Boy!

Raven: Welcome back.

Cyborg: [Fist pumps Beast Boy.] Give me some love, dog!

Starfire: [Giggles, then hugs Beast Boy.] I am delighted to see you. We have all missed you so.

Beast Boy: You guys... really missed me?

Cyborg: Absolutely, who else is going to help me wax the T-car?

Robin: And spar with me in the Gym?

Starfire: And eat nauseating amounts of tofu while Raven and I watch?

Raven: Um, how about we all just go for pizza?

Cyborg: Sounds good to me.

[Everyone except Beast Boy walk east.]

Robin: Beast Boy? Aren't you coming?

Beast Boy: Thanks, but if its cool with you guys, I've kind of had enough attention for one day.

[End credits.]

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